This is my beautiful daughter Kendall ( i say beautiful, because you can clearly see that she's going to look like me!!)
Jacob would probally kill me if he knew i fell in love with the name Kendall while watching a "Keeping up with the Kardashians" marathon. (their little sister's name is kendall). I told him i found it on a website with baby names!! So after we agreed that kendall would be her name, i let him pick out the middle name. We threw around bunches of names, jo, blair, skye, dawn, rae, michelle....but RAE stuck...for a while anyway.......
As most of you know on June 16th my dad passed away of brain cancer. To date it was one of worst nights of my life. Even though he went just the way we wanted, peaceful, in his sleep, with no pain...its still hard. I will never forget when he first found out he had cancer (june 3rd 2010), i started taking him to treatments everyday...and even though me and my dad hadnt been close since i was little, i found this too be a good time to catch up and maybe makes a relationship with him. And one day I was driving him home, and i will never forget where we was at (we were driving up the old overpass in flora) when he told me he wanted to be a grandpa Jokingly i told him that he was goin to have to wait on my brother because i didnt want to have kids....but little did i know that God had different plans for me.
4 months later i found out i was pregnant, i was livid...this was not suppose to happen to me, i was a 22 year old bartender having the time of my life. but after thinking about it for a while..what my dad said to me that day got me thinking, and i knew that this is what was suppose to happen.
The day we told my dad he was going to be a grandpa will always stick with me, when we told him, he got his famous "shit eating grin" for those of you that dont know what im talking about its a little grin when he gets excited, about to bust at the seams, but doesnt want anyone else to know it (my brother has it too) but i didnt know that the rest of God's plan was going to be the hardest thing for me to accept.
We Always knew that my dad was sick, and that if any of the cancer came back it was going to come back with force and happen fast. But speaking for myself..i just knew that it wasnt goin to happen to us, my dad had never been sick a day in his life until now, and he did awesome with all the treatments, i just knew that everything was goin to be okay, and he would meet Kendall. But that didnt happen. a week before he passed away tho, i did get my 3D ultra sound and i we got a really good picture of her (above) and you can tell she has my nose...which i get my dad's family. and i had this picture by his bed when he passed away...he knew he was a grandpa, and will always be her grandpa...Kendall is going to have the best guardian angel anyone could ask for!!!
Even though I am still having a hard time accepting that my dad will not get to meet any of his grandkids, and i will miss alot of things, he did get to raise me and my brother, and i do have some amazing memories of him i think about daily. And im starting to see why maybe this all happned the way it did! And that is why Kendall's middle name is now Michelle...for her Grandpa "Michael" :)
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL!!
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